In life, we can either let our experiences make us bitter, or we can channel that feeling towards being a good example in order to improve things.


Tuesday, July 19, 2011


We've heard this lesson many times during the three weeks that we need rectify ourselves and unify to bring redemption. The problem is when a person is in the moment, we tend to forget. For example, someone is angry that this person didn't invite them to the wedding. Or someone criticized them and they didn't like it, or two people are arguing and feel defensive and angry. And many other situations.....

What we each need to work on is understanding and respect. This takes a lot of practice, but we can succeed if we keep trying, be patient with growth, and stay determined. Every effort counts.

The next time you feel offended by someone, or are having an argument, try to understand where they are coming from. If their thinking is faulty, explain nicely why you think so. - If you find they are actually right, admit it.

Now in regards to loshon hara and gossip, think before speaking. Yes it feels good at the moment to say it, but does it need to be said? Our Yetzer hara says yes and tries to justify it. "They insulted you" or "It's just harmless info." The only time we can say it, or listen to it, is if it's for a constructive purpose, like to protect yourself or others from a dangerous situation, for example. And even then, we still need to investigate to see if it's true.

Listening to general gossip is also bad. Even if we are not saying it, we are still accountable for listening, especially if we accept the info. before investigating. - What do you do in a situation where people you are with are saying it? The Chafetz Chaim gives three ideas.
>Tell them to not do it.
< If this won't work, walk away for a while. -
>If you can't leave, make up in your mind that you will Not accept the info.

In general, we should each work on being understanding and respectful of each other, especially when it's difficult. - Don't gossip. - Plus, we should continue to make an effort to improve. We might see others who are Not doing much while we are trying hard, but don't get discouraged. We should focus on our own personal growth and be a good example for others. - May Am Yisrael be pleasantly inspired to unite and may the geula sheleima come soon


Mystery Woman said...


And yes, we should focus on our own personal growth. Sometimes people get so hung up on what everyone else should be doing, but we all have things we need to work on, and we should be focusing on that.

s said...

Yep, that last part is especially important for each of us

Devorah said...

Thanks, you are so right.