I was looking at a certain website that has different articles and I found an interesting mix of responses from many different women. Some positive, some negative. And so, I decided to do a survey on my blog.
Female adult readers, in your case, when someone gives you constructive criticism or advice, do you take it, or do you feel hurt and get defensive? Please be honest. Thanks
I think this question should help each of us think about what we need. Some of us don't mind hearing straight out what we should improve on. But some of us feel hurt when we hear it, and so we need the person to be more sensitive, so we know they aren't attacking us, they are just trying to help. When we know what we need, we can then inform our spouse, so they know what to do and what not to do.
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7 comments:
Feel hurt and defensive, and then take it after the other person backs off ;-)
BM, good point, it's easier to think about later on alone.
I agree with what Bas Melech said. It's very hard to say "you're right" but usually, deep down you know if you're in the right or wrong. Lately I've been working on myself to just say "you're right, I should not have done that" when someone is upset about something I've done. If I argue, it can just go on and on but if you say you're right they just back off much faster. Tried and tested but so hard to do.
I agree, it is very hard
I am from the other side of the 'Mechitzeh' but i'll have my take too.
I don't take criticism well. When i am really convinced that it comes from a friends, it'll be easier, but still break me.
Understandable. Good advice hurts sometimes. I've been in that situation receiving it from others.
Well I used to take it more personally then I do now but it depends on the person. Some people I really feel from long term experience are just looking for stuff because they don't like my views but others are doing it because they don't like my behavior and if somebody else did it they would also be upset. One thing that does bother me though is I feel many Rabbi's are very insensitive when it comes to not seeing this that MEN find hurtful and offensive and just feel they can say anything whether it is true or not. This post should talk about it in general if you are hurt by criticism not just to females. Anyway, I guess I have said enough.
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