Dating and Marriage

I heard some really good tips and decided to share. They are basic, but good to review.

Make sure to have common values and goals and be realistic. Be understanding with some things, but also aware of other things. Ask someone if you're not sure about something.
Communicate so you know how each other feel and what you both want and need. And be very giving to each other.
Plus, we should be direct. For example, if you tell your husband, I have a meeting at 3, he might not know that means pick up the kids. We have to say, pick them up, so he knows-
And when a wife is sad, it's understandable for the husband to want to fix the situation, so he gives a solution. But she really just wants sympathy and encouragement.
Plus, both should show each other appreciation so they strenghthen the relationship.
Well hope this helps

Two halves of a whole

man and woman, two halves of a whole.
so different and yet also similar.
Both with a different important role,
each one serving Hashem(G-d)

They find each other and
come together in marriage
becoming one soul again.

The Shabbos candles shine bright as
She brings in the shabbos with a prayer,
and brings light to the world.
He makes the kiddish blessing over the wine,
and the world is elevated.

Their relationship is rejuvenated with the
mitzvah of family purity and mikvah, and
bring blessing to the home.

They share in the reward of
his Torah learning.
Her modest clothes,
bring out her inner beauty.

she and him raise the next generation
as they pass their heritage down
to their children and help them grow.

Two people, one soul
fulfilling their mission

For candle lighting articles, the kiddush blessing and other info
http://www.aish.com/sh/

On family purity and mikvah
http://www.askmoses.com/article.html?h=675&o=71

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Enhancing the couple relationship

I've been reading some really good tips from a certain marriage book, to prepare and know what I need to know. With the info I read a while ago from other things and this info from recently, I figured I would share it to help others. A lot of it is stuff we know, but it's a good reminder.

-Each spouse should focus on their own responsibility so they both accomplish what they need to do. And if one spouse is not able to do something that day, it's okay. Sometimes you might be doing more than the other. And other times, they might be doing more. But you should both just focus on doing the best you can.

Show appreciation to each other at different times to encourage each other and uplift.

Let each other know what you need/want since people are not mind readers. :)
And try to work things out patiently.

If the person is going through a hard time, be understanding, patient and supportive of them.

Pray to Hashem to help you both with shalom bayis and to deal with challenges productively and with emunah. Learn together how to do this.

hatzlacha :)

helping couples

edited

Some tips I gathered over time about strenthening relationships

>For a relationship to work, each one should try to both give and work as a team, both doing their part. This sounds idealistic and doesn't always happen b/c sometimes one gives more than the other. However, both should try to do their best.

>Communication helps you know what you each need and want. If one of you holds it in, you might explode later. Better to let them know now how you feel. Sometimes, it's hard to express it, and it takes some practice. Also, if one wants a specific thing like a gift and is particular, let them know what, so they can give it. Otherwise they don't know, and might waste money when they could spend it wisely on something you like. Also, when communicating, be patient and understanding

>Appreciation is very important. When you show appreciation to each other, it enhances the relationship, and encourages you both to keep going.

By the way
great article on helping couples deal productively with financial hard times. Click here

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Awe and Love

'
I was listening to a lecture and the speaker mentioned about awe and love. He said that Yiras Hashem(fear of G-d) does not mean terror. The word yira is connected to the word ro'eh(see)
For example, in a relationship, a person should see the preciousness of the other and respect the other person. From there, the person goes on to work on love. Respect motivates us to notice the other and honor them; we don't dream of hurting the relationship we have. - Love motivates us to be close to them -

So too, during this time, we should work on noticing Hashem in our life who gives us both pleasent things and challenges, which we see in retrospect is for the best. And we should work on respecting Him and the people around us. Plus, we should be aware that when we do something wrong, we hurt the relationship, which in turn makes us grow apart from each other. However, it can be mended and healed if we put in the effort to do so. It's best of course, to try not to mess up, but of course it's happens b/c we're human, and so there's teshuva.

Once we have respect for the other, we buid the love
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Please also read below about strengthening kavana and the connection

communicating

I found this really good article on communication and marriage. The author makes good points that sound simple but everyone can improve on it. Firstly, she mentions that when someone says something, we should try to figure out what they are really trying to say. But the main point is that a couple should try to communicate clearly to each other so they know what each other wants and can have a more peaceful home.

Communication - the key to a Good Marriage