Found this here
Labels on some consumer goods
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (is this the shoplifter's special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(Now mind you, I believe the key word there is Children.
We should all put our children to work driving or operating machinery...
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly United?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)